I was in the passenger seat of my sister Molly’s two-door Subaru on a summer day several years ago when she turned on a song she wanted me to listen to. I can’t for the life of me remember what song she played, but I remember the chills that came over me and the sudden lightness I felt, as if the car and the road and everything else disappeared, and it was just .. the music. I remember saying out loud after it had finished, something along the lines of, Wow. I felt that inside me. And Molly said, Yeah. It’s the bass.
And I’m sure she was right. It was the bass. But it wasn’t only the bass. I have felt, since I was young, that music is powerful.
I believe in something beyond the superficial things that we see or do day to day. I know that there is something more in all of us. More honest. More true. Music makes me feel that. It is an exploration into someone else’s truth, and when you listen – really listen – you feel it. You experience another person’s truth. Maybe only for a couple of minutes.. but it is more powerful than anything one could say with words alone. Your body feels it.
I think we all have a deeper part of ourselves where we feel more acutely, we love more fiercely, we dream more fantastically. For me, it is the part that feels most true. I don’t share it with many people, and I forget about it a great majority of the time, when I’m working or cleaning or running errands; but it is still there. I believe creativity comes from this place. Sharing what you create requires vulnerability, which is scary .. but it is the vulnerability that allows others to experience your truth and make it their own. And it is validating when another person identifies with your deepest thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes I worry that by neglecting this part of me, I am simplifying myself into less than I really am. I feel more. I am more. Writing, for me, is one way to access that part of me. Listening to music is another.
I have the habit of listening to the same artist intensely, over and over for months at a time. I don’t know how Chase feels about the repetition, but he puts up with it :) When we first got married, it was Arcade Fire, constantly .. This summer it has been Brandon Flowers and The Killers. All. Day. And I’m not sick of them yet. If you have a couple minutes, listen.